Wednesday, July 25, 2012

想起她

今天不知怎么的,觉得自己怪怪的
一直想起那一天而已,我人生中难忘的一天


1705---一直出现在我脑海
短短的几个小时,对别人来说就可能是普通的一天的一部分,我却认为是我人生中的一部分。种种的第一次,奇迹发生了!天底下第一个说我是香蕉人的香蕉人,怀疑自己是否那么香蕉。不认识她的情况之下一起出门了,一起出门的美女那么多,但她是那个让我刻骨铭心的。我们一起出门,但我从不知她是我的同班同学?!?! 在报到当天,我错过机会去认识她???我们看了一部电影,但那次是我人生中看电影最不自在的一次了,就是很紧张,不知为什么的,心跳一直上升,那部电影又不是很刺激,都还好而已,而且我还冒冷汗...=.=|||
慢慢的,我认识了她,开始交谈,说话有说有笑,觉得她很不错,但好像很严肃!ishh!日子这么过,我们举办开放日的时候,她也是我的组员之一,之前对她的第一印象就是她有时候会静静,很严肃,但微笑起来还蛮甜的。她喜欢穿高跟鞋,我记得最清楚的,她那双红色高跟鞋配她的工作服,简直...赞!活动日的时候才发现到她很好动怦怦跳跳的,但她的电力是有限公司,一下子就累成小孩一样,坐在那儿想要睡觉。经过那次活动日,生活又回到了课业上了,拼啊!晚上从图书馆下来,去吃点宵夜,轻松轻松一下再去打拚!那个时期,她都和我们三八组一起吃宵夜!有说有笑!我也开始了解她,慢慢看透她是什么样子的人,其实她就是一个年纪18岁的女生,很喜欢吃东西,思想有点小孩子,有时候会很幼稚起来,也会很颠吧...信息,来电通电话,和她吃午饭,一起做功课,谈谈天,知道她多一些些事情,她因宗教关系不庆祝生日,还是第一个呢...那时候的我早就已经被她用了什么魔法,迷住了我,连生日礼物要送什么都想好了,但败北了。我的心早就被钩走了,我想了很久,她值得我去喜欢吗?她值得我去爱吗?她值得接受那些我将付出的牺牲?我想了又想,问了我最好的室友,他也只点点头,看了一些照片给我看,我了解了一件事!!爱情没有对与错,没有谁对谁错,没有谁付出比较多。爱情没值不值得,不是在玩股票,有付出就别希望有回报,你喜欢的你就做!没人能阻止你!就这样我告白了,但她拒绝了。可能她看到她的室友和男友分手,伤心哭泣,不想被伤害,我个人看法。但没关系,再接再厉!气氛就变得怪怪的,很尴尬,见到她都一声不哼,好像不认识那样。就这样过我们的生活,到了年尾考试前,还有联络...圣诞节时,就送了简单的祝福。我们好好的过了2011,2012又是新的开始。人人都很期待的情人节,以前的我,二月十四就是很普通的一天,今年有所不一样,我庆祝的第一个情人节。情人节在考试期间,前一个星期,我连夜赶工,不是读书而是折玫瑰,我做过最大的手工。情人节前夕,半夜4点了,还在做!我的好兄弟,还陪我熬夜,帮忙我,我不会忘记你们的。做完了,睡个觉,早上的课都没去了,太累了,之后还要考试!测验完毕,走出考场,我的朋友都帮我拖延时间把她给留着,等人群疏散后,轮到我出击!我把花送给她,她就只说:“哇.......谢谢你。”之后多加一句“你做的花很美。”我们走回去,我和她走向另一个方向,我没有开口,但她开口了。“你知道吗,你是送过我最多朵玫瑰的男生。之前我的朋友都只送一朵两朵,我没有收过这么多朵花。”当时的我,有飞起来的感觉,但是............我们找个地方坐下来,她告诉我,她从以前到现在都把我当朋友看待,没有超越那个限度。她很想超越那个限度,但不想的起因是从我身上来的。我太过忙碌,有时候真的不能及时回她信息,忙完了累了也就这样忘了回她信息。我觉得她是怕我没有时间陪她吧?这个结果在我预料之中,我并没不满反而很感谢她,感谢她让我能渡过情人节,永远会回忆的情人节。就这样,她当了好朋友渡过我大学预备班的生涯,她走了,我们各个都各分东西,有可能会是最后一起见面了。很不舍,但得放手。我的朋友问我,怎样好?放手吧...起初,我坚持说不,但之后不久,我们又见面了,一起去旅行,那几天我真的很开心,虽然我一个人在码头等她等了4个小时,但我愿意,当我看到她,心松了下来,嘴上自然挂上笑容。旅行回来之后,我想了很多天,我告诉我那位朋友,我选择了放弃,不想让我自己那么辛苦,让她难堪。当时的心情是这么想的。

但我想在此告诉我那位朋友
你赢了!
我做不到!不是那么容易的事啊!我始终放不下!
我现在还是会告诉我那位朋友,我爱的人还是她!始终是她!
我亲爱的那位朋友不要讲我恶心啦!哈哈

回去能看到她,我真的很高兴...她安然无事,我就很放心!
爱一个人不一定要得到她,她开心的时候你也会为她感到开心








Thursday, July 12, 2012

Degree Application Result


Yesterday was a shocking, happy and sad day for me. I feel happy at first, continue to know the result of degree program application, my level of happiness drop till negative value. I can't believe what I heard, it was outrageous, ridiculous. My friend didn't get their application pass. 

To me, it is meaningless if I went in for degree program without my friends.
My gangs from 20 people, now become 8 or 9 only.
We all planned to stay in 1 apartment together, planning goes well till the result out...woshh! disappear!
The roommate I planned to live with all didn't get it! How things would change till this situation?

I feel sad for my friend, my mood was down the whole day, my mind come up with a lot of sweet memories we had together during our foundation year.

Three of my best listener - they didn't get what they want. My best shoulder to cry at, my best ear receiver and my best gay partner! Hope there is a chance to change which could change their destiny!

Receive my call and first thing is payment!!WTF!
RM24250!!! It's my parent 4 month salary! By 18 of July have to clear it!
Headache! 24K! not a small amount! only the 1 semester of the 1st year

But this is all my future path, I have to accept the reality and I have faith on things I believe in, there will be a turning point for my friends.
Good luck to me!

Holiday's activity

Since the holiday trip till now, I didn't update here, even I'm damn free...=.=
Not working for 5 months, at home just facebook and drama! Boring! Waiting for letter everyday, keep on waiting and wait.


Finally!

Result of my foundation was out, not perfect, but I'm satisfied with it 1A, 2A-,1B+ and 1B with a CGPA of average of 3.83 (not 4 flat...T.T), no one is perfect!^.^
But just unexpected, I overestimated my 3rd term result, not as good as I wished, just take it as a lesson, learn from mistake and never repeat it! 
Once bitten, twice shy!
Send my degree program application, and wait again!
Time flies~~

My family and my aunts' family and uncle's family went to Terengganu trip again since last 9 years ago. We went to Tasik Kenyir, peace and calm place, a beautiful place in Peninsular Malaysia, no night life there.
Next day we went down Kuantan to Bukit Gambang Water Park... HOT!!!
The weather was killing us, the Sun heats up the earth ground and overheat it I think!
We had sunburn and was terrible! PAIN!
Fine! On the way back home, we saw Genting Highland, my mom and my aunt discussed and we went up there...xD
Now the coldness of the atmosphere frozen us...too cold and I didn't bring my jacket!
Short sleeve and short pants with my sport shoe....shivering body in the theme park with all my younger cousin there...tired day!

For just 4days3nights trip ends like this as school reopen for my brother and sister.
A family gathering, family from Penang and Johor meet at one place, have meals together, play together...FUN!

Enjoy family time!